All Hail the New Carry Nation!

Being an elitist city-dweller, I would never stoop so low as to gamble, especially in the most base and vile of locations... the internet. Who are these people, these dregs of society, who believe they should have the right go on the "Web" and throw their money away. I guess if they wanted to live in a free society, they should have thought of that before they were born here in this one. I say, "WHATEVA!"

I've read a blog or two about this so called "problem," from The Beav to Bill's Blog, and I can't see what they're complaining about. We live in a great nation that is founded on the principle that only a small percentage of the population is capable of making decisions and dictating morals. What kind of state would be in now if George Washington and Thomas Jefferson had not lobbied against and eventually outlawed hemp cultivation? Where would we be if not for the greatest of all the constitutional amendments, number 18. If some great men had not stepped in and made the "manufacture, sale" and "transportation of intoxicating liquors" illegal, our great nation would be in a sad state today.

All hail the new Carry Nation, who carries forth her weapon of not-so-mass destruction (though very intimidating) and waves it as a banner in the faces of the heathen bastards who strive to bring our Great Society to ruin! Money lenders! Heathens! Happy people! Blasphemers! (It's not technically blasphemy, but I felt like I needed one more exclamation and couldn't think of anything else.) If only our congressmen had been so bold as to take hatchets to a few computer monitors instead of passing a law. Now that would have been worth watching.

All I have to say to all you complainers, all you people who have nothing better to do than bitch that your "personal rights" are being taken away, is this... if you didn't want to be a citizen of a fascist state, you shouldn't have voted for members of the Fascist Party.


Duh!
ECD