How Great We Art - Part I

I've had the privilege of studying a glut of history in my lifetime. (Does that make me a glutton?//Brad Pitt pulls ECD's head out of a giant plate of spaghetti// BTW, see Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.) Sorry... that's what you might call a stream of conciousness randomly activated blather, or a SOCRAB (an as yet undiagnosed illness for which there is no cure). Back to the subject at hand. As much as all history fascinates me, American history, is an especially poignant pleasure for me. (I'm not sure what 'poignant' actually means, like Bill O'Reilly probably doesn't really know what 'opine' or 'pithy' mean, but, like Bill, I use it anyway.) American history is kind of a hobby within a hobby, I suppose. So I would like to share a few of my observations about how we became such a great nation.

First, I'd like to remind everyone that the United States was begun as a refuge for poor, persecuted Christians, escaping from Buddhist tyranny that spread throughout the world more than 2000 years ago. From the time Jesus first sailed the Santa Maria to these shores, led the pilgrims from Atlantic City to San Francisco, and delivered the Bible to Judge Roy Moore to be the supreme law of the land (probably by Western Union, like Doc did for Marty McFly at the end of Back to the Future II), our course was set. We would not rest until "In God We Trust" was printed on all our currency.

In the early years our nation saw many hardships for the pioneers, who often suffered mistreatment at the hands of merciless warlords and shoguns. (For examples of pioneer life, see The Village, and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. The Patriot is also entertaining, but its historical accuracy is highly suspect. Sorry, did I say entertaining? Strike that part, but the rest is accurate... or highly suspect... or... Can't remember where I was going with this.) This centuries old practice was shattered when the shackles of repression were thrown off through the efforts of our two greatest warriors: William Wallace and Benjamin Franklin. Both men were drawn and quartered and beheaded, but their valiant efforts will never be forgotten. We would do well to emulate these martyrs.

[Join me soon for my next SOCRAB, in which General Washington leads the Charge of the Light Brigade and John Adams utters that in-famous (meaning "more than famous") phrase, "Et tu Brute."]

Til our future finally gets here,
MEC-D